Shortly before her own death four years ago she told me that on the last night of Daddy's life she sat by his hospital bed and they talked about their marriage from the beginning. There was an 8/9 year difference of age.ĭad died prematurely at age 50 in 1982. Mom was impulsive, frivolous, often abrasive, self-absorbed, obsessed with fashion and style. Dad was cerebral, bookish, undemonstrative. Just like Abe and Mary Lincoln,they could not have been more different. It was a cross between Al and Peg Bundy on "Married With Children" and Martha/George of "Who's Afraid of Virginia Wolf?." I am not exaggerating. I rarely witnessed any manifestation of affection or tenderness between them and I often wondered why they married at all. Growing up in our home I saw a lot of dysfunction, chaos, yelling. I often think about my parents, who had a marriage that seemed incompatible to most of their friends and family, to use an understatement. It's extremely difficult to write when very little is recorded or written. People were different - yes, they were still people, but values and morals were strikingly different and a lot of modern writers/researchers/historians sometimes miss that. People seem to avoid or miss the fact that the 19th Century held different values than do current times. Unless something was written down in a diary/journal by individuals, it's near impossible to pin down what they thought/said in a particular circumstance. I'm coming in late to this very interesting discussion and I'm of the very same opinion.
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